I must say, that even after counting the gifts into thousands I was failing to "see" fully, the beauty and goodness of God in the everyday, small, seemingly mundane living, I'm slow like that, thick headed to boot but I keep at it, this counting.
Am I so caught up in the world that believes that only radical healing, and cross country moves are miraculous? For such a long time I have cheated myself of days and hours pregnant with the greatness of God's glory because I could only "see" if the Glory was glaringly bright, blaring loud. Or large. Isn't that just like the enemy always flashing and wowing to get our attention of kilter, to instill ingratitude, to discredit and corrupt everything that God said was good.
Me, so lightning fast to grab hold of the enemy's lie that it can only be gold or good if it is big, obvious. Skipping the trail of bread crumbs of erroneously perceived "small" graces to the point of ingratitude. Until it dawns clear these last few hard and thorny years And here again I am amazed by Grace and the goodness of God in something "ordinary". Looking again at the familiar is indeed helping me to see it as unfamiliar and the novelty of it all is welcome. Going back over now, a life lived in the fast lane which is not really lived at all, with a fine tooth gratitude, moving all the rocks to look underneath, using this Eucharistic magnifying glass of thanks to re-know with a renewed mind and exalting Him the gift giver the grace giver and aggrandizing all the things and moments that were once taken for granted or begrudged because of it's smallness or because it was commonplace. Because when I stop and do the heart work the daily getting on knees work the gut wrenching 'praise no matter what 'the seeing God's face in all the faces....in all the unexceptional makes it all exceptional again and I see no smallness.... nothing is insignificant and everything is wondrously a gift from the One Perfect Gift Giver....... and seeing IS believing! Seeing all the worth in a single moment of ordinary, knowing more than skin deep that you are loved and thought of, not forgotten, never ever alone, and that all this...is for you. I do this sort of thing often, take pictures of the not so obvious and obscure things and go back over my days and minutes, just to make sure I didn't miss some sweet, small, delectable detail that was full of Glory and God and see or rather re-see the stuff that some take for granted. You know the really little common things like your child's shadow, it grows you know, and I glory in the fact that she is healthy, and growing. Like the way the light lights the top of the keys of the keyboard while the shadows are kept at bay, because we have light and He is light and now I am light in this dark world.
The grains of sand between me and her, the distance and grains will increase reminding me to cherish the time with her now, reminding me that Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (James 1:7) Always reminding me that He is Jehovah Shammah, "the Lord is there" He is there present in every tiny detail.